You know you need a new car when.......

You pull over for a fire engine and it pulls up behind you.

You leave the keys in it and someone steals the key ring!

When the recovery service chap greats you with "nice to see you again, hows the family?"

A adittion to the above;
When I called the RAC out to my first Dutton, I casually commented to him that I used to have a normal, practical, sensible car- He replied "Oh yes, I remember your old Escort!"
'nuff said

The border guards walk around your car and then come to the window, motion you to roll it down, and ask you "What the heck IS that thing?"

...you realise the dents on your previous car could hinder your safety when you hit your next innocent bystander.

...your old car isn't fast enough to actually kill them outright.

...you trashed yours side-swiping a fellow driver - but it was worht it. Perhaps you should think of bull-bars as standard next time?

When a building falls on it. Actually happened to my dad's Triumph 2500. All he got out of it was a spanner (out of a couple of large boxes of tools in the boot) and a home made electronic ignition. He even got on TV for it.

You can smell the interior from outside with the windows rolled up.

Adding oil to the engine is just like adding fuel to the tank.

Going across town requires a half a days planning.

When your friends start to say "Let's take my car".

Pedestrians get to the same destination before you do.

You need three parking places to park it, and you cannot get it into a parking garage at all.

- The engine falls out going down the Freeway

- When the whole thing shakes at 60k 40 miles or so

-when The cops say that you can't drive it legally on the road anymore