Marshalling Species

[Paul Newns]

It's a very boring day at work and I've been sorting my old Outlook files out. I came across this, which I remember doing on another boring day at work:

Species: Marshalus Orangus

Habitat: Open spaces incorporating tarmac and grassy areas

Appearance: Bright orange coat; athletic build; moves quickly over ground


The Marshalus Orangus is a friendly creature which responds warmly to affection.

It is inquisitive and will often be found staring at odd pieces of metal, and is an avid collector of a variety of things which may be generically called “freebies”.

DO NOT FEED THE MARSHALUS ORANGUS!

The Marshalus Orangus needs a carefully balanced diet. Please do not be tempted to feed it or you may upset the balance, which can be fatal unless an antidote called “Alcohol” is administered quickly.

A related species is Marshalus Blackus which can be found in a colony called “Silverstone” in middle England. This can be identified by it’s black coat and orange stripes.

I'd been to the zoo a few days before and thought how much we were like the exhibits there, being kept behind a wire fence all day!

[The Fat Clerk]

There needs to be a warning about not feeding them Pork Pies!

[aland]

I actually thought there was only 2 species the marshalus raceous as described above as the blackus is the same species just the plumage is different.

there is also marshalus rallyeous, this creature is found in deep wooded areas and is slightly more fearless due to the lack of fencing and tyre walls. This creature is more of a natural hunter-gatherer due to the lack of available food in the forests

I suppose a sub species is the knockhilleous marshaleous, noted for its tartan plumage on the head and thicker fur. known to say "Braw day mate" on the race occasions that it isnt blowing a gale and rain so thick you cant see the top of the hill

[beefy]

I'm sorry? Athletic build? All the examples I've ever seen are anything but!

[numbersix]

Marshalus Cantankerous

Habitat: Old Post Boxes at Motor Racing Circuits

Identifying features: Plumage similar to Blackus and Orangus. Can be identified by permanent grimace to facial contours, leering at females and spats of derisive comment on radios.

Breeding habits. Usually don’t breed, just talk about it. A lot.

Respond well to moderate alcohol intake but inclined to cuff younger Orangi about the ears if challenged.

Known to be dangerous if suddenly prodded awake.

* * *

Marshalus Orangi Oulton Parkus

Habitat: Only known within small wooded area near Tarporley in Cheshire. Regularly migrate to sea area near Holyhead where they fall off cliffs.

Breeding behaviours unknown. The young are born fully formed and are called Nadlets (formerly, Clifflings). Can be identified by orange upper body colour and miscellaneous leg colours.

Fewer Cantankeri than in other herds. Females known to stop a police dog at 40 yds just by glaring at it.

[Dave Brand]

Originally Posted by numbersix

Known to be dangerous if suddenly prodded awake.

I resemble that remark! That's why I always request that if the incident involves fewer than three cars I am not to be woken up!

Sextus Marshallus, I think you've got too much time on your hands!

[gravel_monkey]

Originally Posted by numbersix

Marshalus Cantankerous

Habitat: Old Post Boxes at Motor Racing Circuits

Identifying features: Plumage similar to Blackus and Orangus. Can be identified by permanent grimace to facial contours, leering at females and spats of derisive comment on radios.

Breeding habits. Usually don’t breed, just talk about it. A lot.

Respond well to moderate alcohol intake but inclined to cuff younger Orangi about the ears if challenged.

Known to be dangerous if suddenly prodded awake.

* * *

Marshalus Orangi Oulton Parkus

Habitat: Only known within small wooded area near Tarporley in Cheshire. Regularly migrate to sea area near Holyhead where they fall off cliffs.

Breeding behaviours unknown. The young are born fully formed and are called Nadlets (formerly, Clifflings). Can be identified by orange upper body colour and miscellaneous leg colours.

Fewer Cantankeri than in other herds. Females known to stop a police dog at 40 yds just by glaring at it.

thought in the 2nd half of that he was talking about the other orangi oulton parkus or gravelousmonkious for its full title. usually seen around druids corner to bailey bridge at oulton, generaly chasing squirels and scaring the fire car passengers as they go by.

[Stuart H]

What about the even less common: races marshalus?

[JEP]

There's also the semi-nocturnal Orangi Doningtonii, often seen as twilight falls, near its wheeled den, shedding orange plumage and calling to others of the specis with its cry of "cuatthebull". known to be very friendly to young cubs; who can be easily spotted by their very bright plumage, their coats not yet having the oil, mud and tyre stains of the elders. Many are known to migrate in mid-summer to a gathering of all specis of marshallus at a place know as Silverstone, where they erect multi-colured dens. This quite stange as it often coincides with the rainy season, but they seem happy enough!

[Startline Ed]

The migratory habits of the British marshalus orangus extend beyond the British Isles. Amongst their destinations are Continental Europe, North America, the Middle East and Australasia. Here they interact with the local marshalus species including the French marshalus alba.

[theracegypsy]

Originally Posted by Startline Ed

The migratory habits of the British marshalus orangus extend beyond the British Isles. Amongst their destinations are Continental Europe, North America, the Middle East and Australasia. Here they interact with the local marshalus species including the French marshalus alba.

On a recent scientific trip to Florida and California I noted that the local species there contains a large proportion of albinos. This has puzzled me somewhat, since one indivdual (migrating from Canada) has previously been seen with the normal orange coat

[jonbryant]

Originally Posted by Paul Newns

It's a very boring day at work and I've been sorting my old Outlook files out. I came across this, which I remember doing on another boring day at work:

Species: Marshalus Orangus

Habitat: Open spaces incorporating tarmac and grassy areas

Appearance: Bright orange coat; athletic build; moves quickly over ground


The Marshalus Orangus is a friendly creature which responds warmly to affection.

It is inquisitive and will often be found staring at odd pieces of metal, and is an avid collector of a variety of things which may be generically called “freebies”.

DO NOT FEED THE MARSHALUS ORANGUS!

The Marshalus Orangus needs a carefully balanced diet. Please do not be tempted to feed it or you may upset the balance, which can be fatal unless an antidote called “Alcohol” is administered quickly.

A related species is Marshalus Blackus which can be found in a colony called “Silverstone” in middle England. This can be identified by it’s black coat and orange stripes.

I'd been to the zoo a few days before and thought how much we were like the exhibits there, being kept behind a wire fence all day!

And in their natural habitat...

[Stuart H]

Lyddenous Hillious marshalous.

As above but the Lyddenous Hillous marshalous is a dying breed.
A very shy sort but can be temted out into the wild with the promise of winning a raffel prize. Not much is known but what is known is that there are now a protected species.

[Sticker Rub]

Another rare breed is Ovalus Marshalus, only spotted in the Corby region & not to be confused with the common Rotundus Marshalus. Ovalus Marshalus are very shy & are usually solitary or very occassionally in pairs (possibly during the breeding season). Other species are rarely seen in their habitat which may be due to a dislike of the environment or perhaps due to fear of the predatory Corby Chav (Nike Neanderthalus). Once a year during the Toca season, a mass migration of other species successfully manages to inhabit Ovalus Marshalus territory & usually finds the native species very friendly & welcoming. The habitat tends not to support the fastidious toilet habits of many species & nesting sites are not to their liking so they move on quickly. In recognition of this, local naturalists have recently installed new nesting boxes & litter trays in the hope of attracting a wider range of species next season.

[theracegypsy]

Originally Posted by Sticker Rub

Another rare breed is Ovalus Marshalus, only spotted in the Corby region & not to be confused with the common Rotundus Marshalus. Ovalus Marshalus are very shy & are usually solitary or very occassionally in pairs (possibly during the breeding season). .....edited.

Strange that comment. Again in North America it is difficult to distinguish between these two species, and some experts do not believe they are separate species at all. Also interesting is the comment about being solitary. Always found in groups of two or three over the pond. However it should be noted that they change coats for the oval environment, developing a black skin on the lower regions, and a white, or more rarely a red plumage on the breast and upper back.