TGF "relieves himself" whilst driving...

[Hugh Jarce]

Mmmmmmm - conspiracy theory #224.

TGF's poor performance in Melbourne was due to him pushing the hi-tech Ferrari 'I've peed myself' button on the steering wheel. This jetisons key car components making it highly unlikely for him to get on the podium in front of 'millions' with a large wet stain around his nether regions.

[Smokey 6 litre]

Originally posted by Jukebox
What else could they do? use a pipe or hose that directly connects to you know what and like the trains...exitting it

i believe that may cause a few problems, as in car spinning , might even become tactical if someone was following close behind, a small trail of urine on the apex of a corner.

[Aysedasi]

Imagine the poor marshalls having to lay cement dust on that! (Or would they just be issued with rolls of supersoft toilet tissue?).

[Jellybabe]

It would probably be very painful to be driving around with a full bladder with those seatbelts digging in!

[MGF]

Well, it has to be said that it makes a change for him not to be taking the P##s out of any one else for achange...

[Aysedasi]

And give those who delight in so doing the chance to extract the urine from Herr Schumacher.......

[Spaced Invader]

i wonder how much it would fetch on e-bay if you wrung out Michaels race suit after and sold the extracts.

[Francesca]

haven't any of you noticed the unsightly dark patches on their bums when they get out of their cars in Parc Ferme!

[Liz]

It's fairly common in racing as I understand it -- Tom Kristenson was making jokes about it last year at Le Mans, calling in on the radio "I have to come in, I have to come in," and his crew telling him, "No, stay out," and then he said WHY he had to come in and they said, "Okay [the next driver] says COME IN NOW!"

[Glen]

Originally posted by Spaced Invader
i wonder how much it would fetch on e-bay if you wrung out Michaels race suit after and sold the extracts.

Are you suggesting taking the p!ss out of Schumacher?

[RubberD]

What is new about it? He must relieve himself many times when he has Juan on his mirrors. You know that when you are scared you feel like....

[bradenc]

Look at the seriou side of this, driver comfort has an impact on performance. Now a schu with damp kegs, is bound to be slower than a schu with nice dry kegs. Now if those folks at pampers can come up with a nomex nappy it may be worth something.

When I flew in gliders we had a rubber hose with a rubber cup on it, just drop the old fella in and the pressure differance holds it there for you until your done.

[RubberD]

Tampax should become Ferrari's sponsor and build a special tampon for Schumi

[Red]

You actually do know how tampax are used?

[Evilsenna]

I think he meant pads, or maybe he knows something about schumi we don't know!

[Logrence]

I always thought some drivers had some kind of catheter that was attached to a chlostomy bag-type thing...

[Andrew2001]

Of coures they do that. Modern Fighter Pilots do the same thing. The forces that impose the body are so great, that it doesn't matter how many times you go before a race (or sortie), you still need to go while in the cockpit.

[high contrast]

Originally posted by Francesca
haven't any of you noticed the unsightly dark patches on their bums when they get out of their cars in Parc Ferme!

True Francesca! Did you know JV insisted that BARs new overalls had black not white bottoms (fact)

Racing drivers like all sports people have to hydrate to the max before an event. At the start of the London Marathon the roadway is soaked; it's only natuaral!

I remember the late Francois Cevert relieving himself on the grid beside his Tyrell before the GP in full view of the main grandstands!

And anyone who thinks it's easy to 'wet yourself' whilst driving I challenge you to try it in your car! (it's only water)

At the hot 2002 45 min. PAU F3 grand prix winner Ant Davidson said he won by such a huge margin so he could get to the toilet FIRST!

[Wrex]

Originally posted by RubberD
What is new about it? He must relieve himself many times when he has Juan on his mirrors. You know that when you are scared you feel like....

*yawn*

Originally posted by RubberD
Tampax should become Ferrari's sponsor and build a special tampon for Schumi

You JPM fans must love having an ally like this. Remind you of anyone?

[JohnSSC]

So many things I could have been doing just now. Instead I read this entire thread...

[Woolley]

I remember when they started weighing drivers, and TGF had to explain why he was so much heavier at the weigh-in than he was at the start of the season a few days later. He said he "hadn't been to the toilet for a couple of days". So it's official, that is what he's full of.

I also loved "The Mechanic's Tale" where he explained that adjusting the suspension on the Benneton was a particularly difficult job, which involved squeezing your head between the driver's legs in order to reach the adjusting mechanism. Apparently, among his other talents, Nelson Piquet was able to break wind at will!

[RubberD]

Originally posted by Wrex
*yawn*

You JPM fans must love having an ally like this. Remind you of anyone?

Nice job moderator. promoting an unfriendly posting style?

[Ian-S]

Johnny Herbert did it on the grid once, I can't remember the exact story but he jump out the car said sorry and the mechanics mopped it up, and which point Johnny threw the tissue at somebody, think it was either Bernie or Max.

[Valve Bounce]

Couldn't they just attach a giant condom to his doodee?

[avsfan733]

I read a story not to long ago about someone riding along with Jimmy Vasser during the Baja1000. The guy was actually asked by someone what size condom/****er he wanted