2004 V8 Supercar Fantasy Championship.

[GTRMagic]

For immediate release....
GTRMagic Racing Emporium

After a dismal performance at Pukekohe, GTRMagic Racing Emporium has fined every member of its team $10,000 for lack of due care and attention, and bringing the team into disrepute after coming nowhere in Sunday's 3 races. Again!

Driver Mark Skaife said "We had another terrible performance. The car was good enough for pole in the shootout, but it all went downhill from there. Our strategy was wrong, the car was set up for the wrong conditions, we were slower up the straights than those FPR things.. while the cars in front of me could see me coming thru and didnt part like the red sea the way they are supposed to"

Driver of the #5 Glenn Seton had this to say: "We can get these pieces of junk to work over one lap... it takes us 20 laps in a row to figure out which lap that might be though.. The engine has no grunt out of the corners... you can get it flying by the end of the straight, but even the customer cars leave us for dead. I was thinking of throwing the overalls on after this round and building my engine for Darwin myself... can't hurt can it!"

Meantime, team owner GTRMagic, a doyen of the sport after a number of seasons immersed in it, wishes to state categorically that the 2 drivers chosen by the team are safe in their positions for the rest of the season.

And that there was no truth to the rumours that one of the current drivers will be punted for the taxi driver who took us to the Airport on Sunday night!

When asked whether the slow start to the championship bothered him, GTRMagic said "Of course I am concerned. We are having a shocker. We have the nucleus of the team that has taken half a dozen championships... and they make me look foolish by all this bad luck we seem to be having.

Even the boss of Holden Motorsport doesnt hang round our pit garage any more. We are hiring a new chef this week, and dancing girls so someone wants to see what we do in out pits!

Things havent been the same since we painted the black stripes on these cars. You might see a changed paintjob for Darwin... assuming we actually have enough points to go to Darwin... "

Having blown 33 Aurora engines so far this season, GTRMagic Racing Emporium has requested that the TEGA technical committee allow the fitment of VX Chev engines from the Darwin round.

TEGA Chairman Unky Kelvin has stated that he will use the usual Holden timeframe to decide if this should go before the board... a decision should be reached around November or so...

GTRMagic Racing Emporium's next racing adventure is Darwin on 21-23 May 2004 (We hope!). Be There!!
END
48 GTRMagic Racing Emporium (GTRMagic) 485

[daria]

Wild Card Racing Press Release:

After yet another dismal performance by both drivers at Pukekohe, Wild Card Racing has decided to sack Steve Ellery from its driving line-up, instead welcoming Jason Bargwanna as his replacement.
Ellery attributed his sudden departure as to "somebody having to take the fall for the poor performance, and i drew the short straw. . literally"

Team owner Daria stated her reason for hiring Jason to replace Ellery was becuase "he was the name we drew from the hat, we here at WCR don't believe in making educated decisions, we just prefer to take a punt on these things and hope for the best."

The team is hoping for at least some decent results at the next round in Hidden Valley.

[stmookeyj033]

-------------------------ANDREW DENMAN RACING-----------------------------------
------------------------OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE----------------------------------

We are semi pleased with our driver's perfomances for last weekend's round at Pukekohe. It was great for Anthony Tratt's confidence to get inside the top 20 in the last 2 races. Dale Brede had a tougher time of it, however we are still keeping the faith with him.

The next round will be an exercise in logistics for the whole operation. Not only will our V8 team be in operation at Hidden Valley, but our Champcar team will be busy preparing for the 2nd round of that series in Monterray, Mexico.

Finally, we are proud to announce that we have enough backing for David Thexton to run in the Nations Cup event at Sandown in 2 weeks time. We have managed to pull Group 2 spec Ford Mustang out of the cupboard for his use.

Mick Jeffrey
co-founder/owner
Andrew Denman Racing

[Harves]

-------------------Unofficial press release----------------
-------------------Harvey Motorsport Design----------------

Once again we are saved by the Murph and only just, we bring in one P Morris and he sticks it in causing us much grief!!! (Lucky he has a rich Daddy)
If things don't start to look up soon there will be massive sackings, the axe will fall and fall heavy. Or we'll pack up and go golfing.

[V8 Superdave]

PRESS RELEASE.......... WOW RACING

"What the *&^# are you blokes doing?!!!!" was the only comment Alan Bond had to make regarding the performance of WOW Racing this weekend.

A seemingly disappointed Mr Bond was less than enthusiastic about talking to the press, but was heard to be muttering things like "Cost me more than a bloody Picasso at this rate"

Team manager Jeff Grech was also less than happy... "Dunno what Bargs was doing, playing footsie with Frosty all weekend.... that sort of thing has no place in this sport... they need to keep that at home".

Craig Lowndes declined to comment, but was heard musing on the possibility that an old FPR engine had been slipped in after the completion of the first race "It sure as hell felt like it... but we'll get there in the end" was the one brief comment which was directed towards the press.

Then team will have to do a "damn sight better" to quote Mr Bond, as he's not impressed with this weekends dismal results.... "When do we go to Eastern Creek again? Who do we pay to make it rain in Darwin?"

The team will all be looking to improve their equal 42nd position in this particular championship.

"Get better bloody quick,, or end up as crocodile poop" was a comment apparently attributed to Mr Bond.

[Also a Believer]

Interesting to read in the GTR press release that the team owner states he has full faith in his team, the only place they look good is on a hot dog roll with a diet coke are his real thoughts.

If the emporium does not pick up the pieces soon Thecko might have some companions.

[Antrodemus]

Originally posted by DarthFalcon
Lego Racers demand a recount!

Team principal DarthFalcon asked the WOOFESCO board today to check the batteries on their calculators.

"Maybe they forgot we replaced our drivers before the round," DarthFalcon said.

The system is perfect.

However, the idiot using the system is prone to cock-ups
You are indeed correct, and I did miss your driver changes.

As for marcus... I don't know what the hell happened there, but you somehow ended up with a copy of someone else's team. I found your original post and retrospectively fixed everything.

So all is now right again. Until someone finds another balls-up.

Revised Standings
23= Pinnacle Motorsport (marcus) 725
32 Lego Racers (DarthFalcon) 687


Should anyone doubt my spreadsheet, PM me and I'll send you a copy.

[marcus]

excellent , thanks Antrodemus , that should keep the sponsors happy

[Dingo]

DIEBELS ALT DINGO MOTORSPORT
OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE
11 MAY 2004
------------------------------------
With immediate effect, Todd Kelly has been let out to stud on the Dingo Motorsport farm. His performances have been so poor that he will be replaced with 2 drivers:
#25 Craig BAIRD
#26 Jason RICHARDS

This change is subject to ratification by the WOOFESCO board, or when the cheque clears, whichever is first.

[Antrodemus]

Got it Dingo.

Did I beat the cheque!

[Gaz170]

TEAM BLUE PRESS RELEASE.

Luff's future is still safe with the team. Just a bit of bad luck stopped him from getting a good result in NZ.

[F|sh]

antrodemus could please my tally it seems low even though i do know that bowe and ellery have had a real ****e start.

[Antrodemus]

Fish:

Adelaide: Bowe 126; Ellery 0; Round 126; Total 126
EC: Bowe 90; Ellery 0; Round 90; Total 216
Puke: Bowe 110; Ellery 62; Round 172; Total 388

You're right. They have had a shocker.

[F|sh]

bring on hidden valley

[woodbine]

Woodbine Racing Press Release

It is with great regret that Woodbine Racing announce the departure of Dale Brede and Russell Ingall from the team. Team Manager Woodbine said "Dale has shown that he is a very good driver, but we'd prefer a driver that can keep his car on the track. Russell has performed well but by sacrificing him we can afford a decent driver".

On a brighter note the team are glad to welcome back Marcos Ambrose who was a major factor in the team coming 4th in the championship last year.

[GTRMagic]

For immediate release....
GTRMagic Racing Emporium

With $450,000 in tow from the recent bout of fines for poor performance at Pukekohe, GTRMagic Racing Emporium is now looking towards Darwin for a reversal of fortune.

Driver Mark Skaife said "We have the team well motivated now... they have taken all the heavy, throwable objects out of immediate reach in the pit garage in case the stress and poor form continues.

We are focused, motivated, ready to do battle. The new paint scheme has been mocked up, and looks a treat. We are actually looking to change our car number to #13 which is unlucky in Western cultures, #14 which means death guaranteed in Asian cultures, paint the thing green, have a lady team manager, convert the pit boom into a ladder, and keep a quantity of black cats and Chinamen around to see if we can get some reverse luck polarity happening." Skaife related

Driver of the #5 Glenn Seton shared his thoughts on the weekend to come: "I have spent the time between rounds taking the engine out of my Ford-supplied road car to test on the dyno in my old raceshop.

I was amazed to discover the road car's engine had 8 more bhp than the darned race engine!! So I have selected the engine for my racecar for Darwin... and converted my loan car to full Fred Flintstone specification" Seton said

Meantime, team owner GTRMagic, when asked about recent signings of the La Cage Aux Folles dancing group to the staff said "This is only the beginning. We will have the original cast members from CATS here soon, and Riverdance... we must do something to get the great unwashed interested in our team.

We have also contracted the NSW Lotteries black cat to be our mascot for the rest of this season...

Its rather lonely at the moment... the crowds seem to only love winners, and we are losers by a big margin."

For the trainspotters, the GTRMagic Racing Emporium has blown up no less than 37 Aurora engines on the track and in the dyno room this season so far.

GTRMagic Racing Emporium's next racing adventure is Darwin on 21-23 May 2004 (If there are enough Auroras left in the world!). Be There!!
END
48 GTRMagic Racing Emporium (GTRMagic) 485

[Also a Believer]

Its a shame |GTR that you cannot buy decent drivers, good luck in Darwin LOL

[Average Punter]

The Top End.
Where anyone can do the weather.
For 8 months "32 and fine"
For 4 months "32 and storms..."

Elbows Out Racing marketing manager, Ivor Goodidea, says the weather should suit their hot tempered drivers Russell "the ex-Enforcer" Ingall and Garth "I won Bathurst once" Tander.

We just hope the rehydrating effects of the Gatorade can counter the dehydrating effects of the stupendous amounts of grog the boys drink...

Ivor is pictured stressing over how to get Russell and Garth out of the Nightcliff Pub before qualifying...

[Gaz170]

TEAM BLUE PRESS RELEASE

What do you mean Winterbottom was available for the same price as Luff????????????

Now you tell me!!!!!

Warren has been assured his place on the team is still safe, at least until Monday.

[Antrodemus]

V8 SUPERCAR FANTASY CHAMPIONSHIP
Round 4: Hidden Valley

Top Ten in Darwin
1 Virgin Racing Team (Dazz) 352
2 Australian Race Engineering (Kixx) 330
3 Lego Racers (DarthFalcon) 308
4= Elbows Out Racing (Average Punter) 306
4= R&R Racing (lcfp2297) 306
4= Team Target (pete55) 306
7 Rocket Racing (rocket) 296
8= Kid Racing (Lowndesfan6) 278
8= WOW Racing (V8 Superdave) 278
10= Mitsubishi Arai Racing (Arai GP5) 272
10= Teddie Racing (AussieTeddie) 272
10= Bond Motorsport (bondy_racing) 272
10= Team Dark Horse (FalconEL) 272
10= Team XLR8 (ford boy) 272

Continuing the trend, the Virgin Racing Team cleaned up the Darwin round of the V8Supercar Fantasy Championship, followed by Australian Race Engineering and the rest of the pack.


Hard Charger Award
Podium places for Virgin Racing Team and Lego Racers saw them take out the Hard Charger awards for Hidden Valley, with VRT climbing 17 places, followed by Lego Racers 12 place rise. Noone else really got close.


Biggest Loser Award
Clear Loser this round was Archer Racing, who slipped 12 places, presumably to heat exhaustion. Joining them in the Hall of Shame was Team Ferox Racing, who fell 7.
Also thoroughly deserving of mockery is Lumpy Bum Racing, who accumulated the measely sum of 24 points in Darwin. I reckon Dave Thexton could have done better by himself!


Standings after Pukekohe
1= Elbows Out Racing (Average Punter) 1158
1= R&R Racing (lcfp2297) 1158
1= Team Target (pete55) 1158
4 Henry's Heroes (henry) 1117
5 Australian Race Engineering (Kixx) 1101
6 Tracy NZ Racing (Tracy) 1093
7= Temptation Island All Stars (GROUPA) 1080
7= Go The Growler Motorsport (Growling Ferret) 1080
9 Blackout Race Team (Suddy) 1078
10 Advantage Racing (TBMATT05) 1051
11= Mitsubishi Arai Racing (Arai GP5) 1038
11= Teddie Racing (AussieTeddie) 1038
11= Bond Motorsport (bondy_racing) 1038
11= Team Dark Horse (FalconEL) 1038
11= Team XLR8 (ford boy) 1038
16 Team Crooks Motorsport (gtr69) 1031
17 Team Ferox Racing (Antrodemus) 1021
18 Silver Bullet Racing (White Knight) 1009
19 Skase Racing (00 XR8) 1004
20 Lego Racers (DarthFalcon) 995
21 Team Bestfit Autosport (bestfit) 974
22 Virgin Racing Team (Dazz) 971
23 Quirky Motorsport (Dirk) 949
24 Team Kiwi All Stars (nicko) 947
25 Woodbine Racing (woodbine) 946
26= Team Ignition (dynamik gal) 945
26= Healthy Eating Auto Racing Team (jetsetter) 945
26= Pinnacle Motorsport (marcus) 945
29 Team Blue (Gaz170) 944
30 Archer Racing (Archer) 941
31 Team Kcorb (Senna05) 937
32 Harvey Motorsport Design (Harves) 907
33= Oakley Team MVMotorsport (MattV) 906
33= Peregrine Motorsport (Peregrine) 906
33= Jet Pilot Race Men (Docker) 906
36 Team Red Neck (jason7250) 889
37 Team Bahodie (bahodie) 866
38 Team Greencardy (greencardy) 846
39= Smiley Racing (Orrcon King) 828
39= WOW Racing (V8 Superdave) 828
39= Kid Racing (Lowndesfan6) 828
42= Rabbit Racing (AussieV8) 823
42= Krypto Motorsport (krypto71) 823
44= Keen Kar Klub (Peter Walsh) 774
44= TART Racing (Mike Hunt) 774
46 Dingo Motorsport (Dingo) 753
47 GTRMagic Racing Emporium (GTRMagic) 731
48= XXXX Team Queensland Racing (Mick05) 703
48= Ross' Revhead Racers (Ross Cadell) 703
50 JetStar Airways Racing (Venom XR) 694
51 Rocket Racing (rocket) 682
52 Fish Motorsport (F|sh) 614
53 Wild Card Racing (daria) 584
54 Blitzkrieg Racing (Panzer) ** 544
55 Midnight Spares Racing (Micklegend) ** 412
56 Andrew Denman Racing (stmookeyj033) 286
57 Lumpy Bum Racing (Matt H) 210
(stars indicate number of rounds missed)

Well the taunting seemed to work, as 5 teams have overtaken Tracy NZ Racing at the head of the table. Now in a three-way tie for the lead are Elbows Out Racing, R&R Racing, and last year's runners-up Team Target. At the other end, despite giving everyone a two round head start, Midnight Spares Racing have relinquished the Wooden Spoon to Lumpy Bum Racing. On current performance they seem intent on hanging on to it.

[Average Punter]

Elbows Out Racing.

Go you good things!!!!

[Dazz]

Virgin Racing Team press release.

Thank goodness we have finally had some luck in the Top End, getting some great results and a podium finish for both drivers.

Todd Kelly drove smart and hard all weekend to win the round, with Russell Ingall having a win in the first race, and surviving an absolute shocker of a move from ambrose at the beginning of the second race, to grab third overall for the weekend.

Hopefully this will be a turn around for the up 'til now struggling Virgin Team, and we look forward to some more great rusults from our drivers.

[Gaz170]

TEAM BLUE PRESS RELEASE

for release Mon 24th May

Driver wanted. Must be able to keep car on track at all times. Salary up to $1m.

[DarthFalcon]

** First Podium for Lego Racers **

In their second year of fantasy racing Lego Racers have finally secured a spot on the podium. Team Manager, and all-around good guy, DarthFalcon said it has been a long time coming, "It's been a long time coming".

"Bargs had a pretty average day today, but Richo has managed to get his head around the Ford Fiesta and it's really, really......good", Mr DarthFalcon said.

[GTRMagic]

For immediate release....
GTRMagic Racing Emporium

Excitement is in the air at GTRMagic Racing Emporium today as the equipe climbs a position in the V8 SUPERCAR FANTASY CHAMPIONSHIP from 48th to 47th.

After an exciting and controversial race 1, team lead driver Mark Skaife, with a suspended 3 race ban hanging over his head after contretemps at Eastern Creek in 2003, endured another difficult weekend, not of his own making.

Skaife said today "Every dog has his day for sure, and these dogs of cars we are driving will eventually stop howling long enough to get some decent results. A lot has been made of the incident with that Ford bloke, but in reality he has only one championship... and as we all know, one championship does not make a champion" the 5 time ATCC/V8Supercar champion related.

Meantime, the second driver in the team Glenn Seton had this to share "Well the road car engine I put in this weekend went the whole distance without blowing up, and for that I am very glad, and surprised.

The pitstop was a bit messy, with that tiny Kiwi bloke attempting a Liberace in the pit lane area. We were slow today, as per normal, as the cars continue to chew rubber.

We are hoping Peter Brock can make a positive contribution for us when he tests both cars this week at Phillip Island, which will be the first test miles this year for the team." Seton shared

After failing in its attempts to convince Holden to change its corporate colours from red to green, GTRMagic Motorsport Emporium heads to Perth unsure of its immediate future.

Glenn Seton has family in Perth, so it will be a nice catch up to see them for him.

Mark Skaife has a personal deal with Crown Casino, and unfortunately this precludes the team from having a boozy night of gambling, wine, women and song down at Burswood Casino.

The team motto is now "We may be as slow as a wet week, but at least we are enjoying the ride till the money runs out"

With no engine blowups this round, the count of 37 blown Aurora engines on the track and in the dyno room this season so far remains.

In a noble gesture, team owner GTRMagic has said that if the engine death count gets as high as 100 by Eastern Creek, every member of the team, and every team supporter will be fined $10,000.... with the proceeds going to fund the team's end of season after party.

Team owner GTRMagic discussed the anticipated arrival of a number of performing artists at the Darwin round said "For some reason the entertainers werent able to get on the plane in Melbourne... federal regulations about having live cats in the cabin or somesuch...

The Holden Motorsport gurus didnt come near us this weekend, I thought I saw a stirring when Mark was leading the first race, but once Mark ended up off in the boonies as we expected, it was again like a ghost town in our pit."

GTRMagic Racing Emporium's next racing adventure is in Perth at Barbagallo Raceway on 11-13 June 2004, presuming our drivers are still in the top 32 cars in the series.

END
47 GTRMagic Racing Emporium (GTRMagic) 731