Marshalling Species

[gravel_monkey]

just thought of another two

1/ marshulusflagius - an older breed which although has many of the same traits as marshalus orangus has managed to develop the ability to use rudamentary tools, these are usualy seen in the form of coloured flags. they have developed the ability with these flags to warn others of impending dangours and help marshulus orangus, although not as mobile as orangus they are indeed welcomed by the community as an important member.

2/ marshalus postcheifious - again not as mobile as either ornagous or flaggious but again an understanding of tools has been gained. these dosile createres seem to use writing implements to show all what they have witnessed and also seem to have a weird understanding of the total group, usually appearing to communicate through wierd jokes or stories. it does seem how ever they dont really have a concept of time but are happy to be there and are welcomed by all.
(this except for one hybrid breed we have named davebrandius, despite the normal traits of communication this creature seems to bring trouble and catastrophy were ever it goes, often seen as a bad luck charm by the group and can usually be seen at around 12 ish harassing the nearest ice cream van)

[numbersix]

Originally Posted by gravel_monkey

just thought of another two

... 2/ marshalus postcheifious - ...

The fastest known animal is the peregrine falcon which can reach speeds of nearly 250mph and can spot a hamster at 2.5 miles.

The second fastest is the common post-chief (marshalus postchiefious) who can spot a tin of lager at a race control building at a distance of 1.3 miles and can get there within 2.729 seconds of the official stand down at the end of the final race of the day. (Source: Guiness Book of World Records - 2008 edition.)

[gravel_monkey]

likin all of these, we should update the ten - tenths wikipedia with em all

[Dave Brand]

Simius sabulorum (common name gravel monkey)

Habitat: its favourite habitat is Druids, where it attempts to lure unsuspecting drivers into the gravel trap. Its favoured victims are XR's & FF1600s. Frequent sightings at Anglesey suggest that it can adapt to a gravel-free environment. Sightings have been recorded at several other circuits; however, this is not seen an evidence of a large population of the species – it is believed to be just the one migratory individual. When not at race circuits, it inhabits chippies & bars – its appetite for both food & beer is legendary.

Appearance: orange with a black rump. It has evolved numerous pockets about its person, which it uses for the storage of beer.

In addition to its normal on-track activity, it can occasionally be seen undertaking the duties of marshulusflagius. This is believed to be connected with an arcane ritual known as 'upgrading', for which simius sabulorum seeks a signature from the nearest marshalus postcheifious; when sufficient signatures have been collected, the process starts again, the original collection of signatures having been lost.

Simius sabulorum is closely related to marshalus scousus, a species seen in large groups at both Oulton & Anglesey. Unfortunately not much is known of this species as, while they appear to have some form of verbal communication, nobody has yet succeeded in translating it into English.

Another common group at Oulton & Anglesey is marshalus Wirralensis (aka Scousus plasticus). This group is easily recognised from its oft-repeated cry of 'I'm not a Scouser, I'm from da Wirrrral'; its claim to be a separate species has never been proved - it is generally believed to be the offspring of a renegade group of marshalii Scousii which dug an escape tunnel in the 1930s.

[chrispowl]

I was a proud marshalus Wirralensis (sub group marshalusflagius), the Tranmere Rovers patch on my orange plumage proved heritage. Is there still a marshalus Runcornian species to be found at Oulton and Anglesey

[fazza]

Originally Posted by Dave Brand

Simius sabulorum is closely related to marshalus scousus, a species seen in large groups at both Oulton & Anglesey. Unfortunately not much is known of this species as, while they appear to have some form of verbal communication, nobody has yet succeeded in translating it into English.

Is this the species that has the old peach backed member in its clan?

[Mike Kelly 1]

Damn! My hereditary tree has been discovered.

A little known fact is that my sub species actually sheds its skin of faded orange every 10 years or so. The next shedding of skin to reveal a bright orange plumage is supposed to happen sometime during 2009. Bill Oddie is so excited about the upcoming event that he is already camped out amongst the undergrowth behind Lodge corner!

[White flag man]

Originally Posted by Dave Brand

Simius sabulorum (common name gravel monkey)

Habitat: its favourite habitat is Druids, where it attempts to lure unsuspecting drivers into the gravel trap. Its favoured victims are XR's & FF1600s. Frequent sightings at Anglesey suggest that it can adapt to a gravel-free environment. Sightings have been recorded at several other circuits; however, this is not seen an evidence of a large population of the species – it is believed to be just the one migratory individual. When not at race circuits, it inhabits chippies & bars – its appetite for both food & beer is legendary.

Appearance: orange with a black rump. It has evolved numerous pockets about its person, which it uses for the storage of beer.

In addition to its normal on-track activity, it can occasionally be seen undertaking the duties of marshulusflagius. This is believed to be connected with an arcane ritual known as 'upgrading', for which simius sabulorum seeks a signature from the nearest marshalus postcheifious; when sufficient signatures have been collected, the process starts again, the original collection of signatures having been lost.

Simius sabulorum is closely related to marshalus scousus, a species seen in large groups at both Oulton & Anglesey. Unfortunately not much is known of this species as, while they appear to have some form of verbal communication, nobody has yet succeeded in translating it into English.

Another common group at Oulton & Anglesey is marshalus Wirralensis (aka Scousus plasticus). This group is easily recognised from its oft-repeated cry of 'I'm not a Scouser, I'm from da Wirrrral'; its claim to be a separate species has never been proved - it is generally believed to be the offspring of a renegade group of marshalii Scousii which dug an escape tunnel in the 1930s.

Dave,
you forgot to mention that one of the main characteristics of Simius sabulorum is that, when it feels threatened, it can spray it's territory with an odious smell, which clears a wide area, of other marshalus, within seconds.

[The STIG]

Marshallus blackus Stuartus Herriotia. (common name Stuart H)

Habitat : Usually found in summer Orange plumage around large herds of racing trucks, often as far west as Pembrey. can be found at Silverstone chasing Marshauls Pebblesia around. Also known to strap into a small french hatchback and imitate the rare species of Raceia Drivasaurus. Is noted to be highly observant, particularly of any Female Raceia Drivasaurus, Marshallus [all sub species] or Spectatorous.

[Dave Brand]

Originally Posted by White flag man

Dave,
you forgot to mention that one of the main characteristics of Simius sabulorum is that, when it feels threatened, it can spray it's territory with an odious smell, which clears a wide area, of other marshalus, within seconds.

How did I miss that!

..and I have first-hand experience of it!

[Stuart H]

Originally Posted by The STIG

Marshallus blackus Stuartus Herriotia. (common name Stuart H)

Habitat : Usually found in summer Orange plumage around large herds of racing trucks, often as far west as Pembrey. can be found at Silverstone chasing Marshauls Pebblesia around. Also known to strap into a small french hatchback and imitate the rare species of Raceia Drivasaurus. Is noted to be highly observant, particularly of any Female Raceia Drivasaurus, Marshallus [all sub species] or Spectatorous.

Like it!

[gravel_monkey]

Originally Posted by White flag man

Dave,
you forgot to mention that one of the main characteristics of Simius sabulorum is that, when it feels threatened, it can spray it's territory with an odious smell, which clears a wide area, of other marshalus, within seconds.

iam afraid your wrong and right in the same sentance sir, it does definetly not need to be feeling threatened to do this as marshalus scousus found out at anglesey in december!!

[White flag man]

Originally Posted by gravel_monkey

iam afraid your wrong and right in the same sentance sir, it does definetly not need to be feeling threatened to do this as marshalus scousus found out at anglesey in december!!

Are you sure it wasn't threatened by the lack of gravel!

[aland]

what about the species found at knockhill and croft, Marshalus attractivus girlus, as the name suggests a female of the common orangi, known for their petite size but not their petite alcohol consumption. have skills that enable the male of the species to do all sweeping but ar known to be just as skilled in dealing with the raceus driverus crashus

[Woolley]

I'm not convinced there's any scientific backup for all these different species and genus. I suspect they're all minor local variations on the same species, and while plumage and favoured habitats show extraordinary variety, they're propensity for clubbing together wherever they meet suggests that they're all subsets of the overall marshallus weekendus species. I will allow that there may be differences between marshullus roundus weekendus and marshallus forestus weekendus, but otherwise they display remarkably similar forraging habits.

Well, OK, marshallus davebrandius might just be a new branch...