"The 35 reasons why V8 Supercars are better than the NRL, AFL and cricket"-Tim Blair

[GTRMagic]

Story Here

These things have a habit of disappearing.... so lets have some fun

Originally Posted by The Article

1. It IS possible to follow an entire season of V8 Supercar racing without once hearing the name Lara Bingle. Indeed, the only bingles are on the track.

2. V8 Supercar fans demonstrate their loyalty by buying Fords and Holdens, thereby boosting the local economy. NRL and AFL fans demonstrate their loyalty by buying scarves and caps, thereby boosting the economies of Asian sweatshops.

3. Neither Fatty Vautin nor Sam Newman present programs about V8 Supercars.

4. If a track official decided to perform his own version of traditional signals - for example waving the yellow flag with his teeth or calling for an ambulance by mooning he would be forced out of the sport. Yet cricket promotes Billy Bowden.

5. Very few V8 Supercar drivers celebrate a win by going up to the Cross and getting involved in a fight or a shooting.

6. Unlike certain NRL commentators, who shout and scream sometimes for no apparent reason, when a V8 Supercar commentator begins shouting you know that something big has happened.

7. V8 Supercar races aren't called off due to rain. They just put on different tyres and keep racing.

8. When a V8 Supercar driver turns 30, the motor racing press doesn't immediately begin chanting about retirement. V8 Supercar drivers can remain competitive well into their 40s and sometimes beyond.

9. Peter Roebuck doesn't write about V8 Supercars.

10. If a large number of V8 Supercar personnel are gathered on any given evening, it won't be because they are involved in group sex or some kind of drug scandal. They will be working on cars

11. It is impossible for V8 Supercars to lose to the English.

12. It is a pleasure to visit Adelaide when the V8 Supercars are in town, because you can easily blend in with other fans and remain safely concealed. If you visit during an Adelaide Crows home game, you will be singled out as an outsider and probably killed.

13. V8 Supercar racing is not dependent in any way on revenue from poker machines.

14. Russell Crowe's involvement with V8 Supercar racing is limited to voiceovers for promotions.

15. Eddie McGuire is not the president of any V8 Supercar team.

16. The last memorable NRL promotion featuring a US performer was Tina Turner. This year, V8 Supercars have Pink.

17. V8 Supercar drivers may sometimes suffer bone-breaking injuries but they are never, ever subject to the kind of thing that John Hopoate used to get up to.

18. V8 Supercar racing is largely unconcerned with issues that rile other sports. It is mainly focused on one thing. If a black Muslim lesbian were to demonstrate an ability to turn laps 0.2 of a second faster than Jamie Whincup, there would be a bidding war for her among teams.

19. V8 Supercar teams use hotel rooms as places to sleep and hotel corridors as a means of getting to those rooms. This isn't quite as creative as the uses found by NRL players, but it is closer to the intended function of these facilities.

20. Feminist academic Katharine Lumby has never been invited or, for that matter, been required to advise V8 Supercar drivers on their attitudes towards women.

21. Because there is no draft in V8 Supercar racing, there is no incentive for poorly-performing teams to continue losing as the season ends. Instead, they are faced with the quite proper choice of either improving or going out of business.

22. V8 Supercar drivers are generally capable of delivering a post-race comment or two without excessive swearing.

23. If a V8 Supercar driver turned up with tattoos all over his chest in the manner of Ben Cousins, his team and the sport in general might conclude that they were dealing with an idiot.

24. After several decades, Holden is still Holden and Ford is still Ford. Name changes and mergers don't happen in V8 Supercar racing.

25. Unlike Twenty20, ODIs and Tests, all forms of V8 Supercar competition (qualifying, sprints and long- distance racing) count towards the same championship instead of fighting with each other.

26. Drugs are a non-issue in V8 Supercar racing, for the elemental reason that they don't make you drive faster.

27. In V8 Supercar racing, computers are used for such purposes as calculating thermal efficiency and differential oil temperature. In cricket, AFL and NRL, computers are used for Facebook and Twitter.

28. During the off-season for V8 Supercars, absolutely nothing ever happens that will appear in the first 15 pages of any newspaper.

29. When you discover that V8 Supercar drivers are staying at your hotel, it is a pleasant brush with fame. When you discover that NRL players are staying at your hotel, it's time to begin drafting a letter to management demanding a full refund.

30. Controversy in V8 Supercar racing is almost always limited to events on the track.

31. V8 Supercar teams are capable of visiting such places as China and the Middle East without causing a moment's trouble for their hosts. Just consider what might happen if certain AFL or NRL teams were to be let loose in, say, Bahrain.

32. There is no need for lawyers to preview most newspaper stories written about V8 Supercar racing.

33. Max Markson does not manage any V8 Supercar drivers.

34. V8 Supercar drivers tend not to abandon their teams and contracts to go racing dodgem cars for some outfit in France.

35. In junior divisions of V8 Supercar racing, it's actually an advantage to be small and weigh very little.

[Axeman444]

Originally Posted by GTRMagic

the article:
9. Peter Roebuck doesn't write about V8 Supercars

yes but they do (did?) have Mr Phelps

[peckstar]

i had a laugh

now for 35 reason why V8 supercars is better than F1. Yesterday made that easy

[Mixer]

That was hilarious!

[Micklegend]

great article

[Rombles1]

Funny and largely true (particularly number 12 - being an Adelaide based St Kilda fan, I can vouch for the accuracy of this).

I am suprised that there has not been discussion/debate/argument/controversy about numbers 24 and 25 though....

[RS500]

11. It is impossible for V8 Supercars to lose to the English.

hmmmmm what about 888 and Prodrive

[Mixer]

Originally Posted by RS500

hmmmmm what about 888 and Prodrive

Roland Dane is Irish, and no risk of losing anything to FPR

[RotorFan]

A few of them are a bit inaccurate, but it gets the point across.

Footbrawl is just a bunch of high school-dropout boofheads chasing after a ball. Thats a game, not a sport.

Still not sure how people can idolise blokes that take drugs, assault women and each other and that need counselling to help them respect women.

[NewsStalker]

Originally Posted by RotorFan

A few of them are a bit inaccurate, but it gets the point across.

Footbrawl is just a bunch of high school-dropout boofheads chasing after a ball. Thats a game, not a sport.

Still not sure how people can idolise blokes that take drugs, assault women and each other and that need counselling to help them respect women.

Funny - followers of other sports see motor racing fans as being something similar - no brains, couch potatoes, need to have a V8 to emphasise lack of size etc etc

IOW - every sport will see other sports the way they want to and overlook the failings of the sport they choose to follow.

[RotorFan]

I wasn't talking about the fans, but the players.

Remember that motorsport is not necessarily equal to "V8 Supercars". I'd say theres nothing inherently bad about motorsport.

[Falcadore]

Wellregards to Point 3, Mark Skaife does anchor telecasts and he can get just as self-involved on air as any retired footballer when he's isn'r careful.

And as for attitudes towards women, women tend to go to football games, it appears they can separate the boofheads from the sport they play. It's just the individual players who objectify women in Cricket and AFL (less so in NRL where many clubs still retain cheerleaders) V8 Supercar as a sport put more women in public trackside swimmwear than any other, including beach volleyball.

Which is a more poisonous attitude, that of individual ********s amongst the footballers? Or entrenched corporate attitude in motorsport?

[DAVID PATERSON]

Originally Posted by Rombles1

I am suprised that there has not been discussion/debate/argument/controversy about numbers 24 and 25 though....

Funny and mostly true, but 24 is a crock of ****. Name changes and mergers are frequent.

[Senna05]

Originally Posted by RotorFan

I wasn't talking about the fans, but the players.

Remember that motorsport is not necessarily equal to "V8 Supercars". I'd say theres nothing inherently bad about motorsport.

As there is nothing inherently bad about football - However, I assure you that 1st Grade Local cotestants, League, Union and AFL player, are not bugged by the superstar comlex.

Perhaps the V8 guys relish in the lesser media and too don't subscribe to "Superstar Syndrome".

This said, it'd be nice to think this stays the same. Compare our guys to F1 drivers who often carry on like pork chops, and it's all good.

[STEALTHY]

One reason why V8 Supercars are better than the NRL, AFL and cricket:


Motorsport is the only one that involves 2 balls

[Buckshot]

Did anyone notice the race report for Adelaide in the sports section ? They had an article about what a great fight back Courtney has put in and topped it off with an incorrect photo of Winterbottom acompanying the article.

Disrespectful Fools.

V8 Supercar drivers are gonna have to start raping grid girls before The Daily Telegraph will treat V8s as newsworthy sportsmen ala the NRL (National Rapegy League).

[D.R.T.]

Buckshot, V8SA pay the Daily Telegraph big money in order for them to write stories about the series.

That is why we are treated to the laughable and often 'staged' stories by such cutting edge journalists as James Phelps.

[bazil]

and no: 36...

Because all of the first 35 give DRT the.....

[stmookeyj033]

Time to counter the stupidity of the whole article. Someone has to do it, and there are just 800 Million reasons why the AFL is better than V8's.


#1: Maybe, but I'm sure Cochrane may change that.

#2: So how do you explain all the merchandise being purchased by fans? Where do you think that comes from? Plus people these days tend to buy Toyotas and other Japanese cars.

#3: But they still present shows that V8's can only dream about having ratings for, and Sam's driven a V8 before too

#4: Billy's toned it down substantially

#5: They're likely to whinge and moan about something and even fight competitors in the pits

#6: That's why you never hear them yell and scream because nothing exciting tends to happen often

#7: Yeah but they often parade behind the "entertainment" car and there has been a number of races stopped due to rain

#8: It hasn't happened for a number of years. It's changed ever since Lowndes won his first title and more and more you see drivers retire in their 30's to do another form where they are seen to be more competitive.

#9: But he's still more popular and read more than d***heads like you, his opinions actually count for something

#10: Can't argue with that

#11: Probably will happen sooner than you think I'd say. Give them some decent time in the cars year after year (as long as Matt Neal stays away) and watch them brain us.

#12: Same thing would happen at a Port Adelaide game, only 20K turn up to their games. Besides who'd want to watch a bunch of chokers?

#13: But it is dependent to a large degree on the motoring industry which is continuing to suffer even after the GFC, plus clubs are changing with the times.

#14: It's still better than Pink's involvement with the category.

#15: DON'T GIVE HIM IDEAS!

#16: The Hoodoo Guru's "That's My Team" promotion was 8967986968968968 times better than the pathetic Pink effort. And anything the AFL come up with s***s all over V8's.

#17: Can't argue with that

#18: What's that one thing you talk about?

#19: At the expense of families of cancer patients?

#20: Happens in all sports, doesn't mean they necessarily listen but it happens in all sports

#21: The point system implemented rewards mediocrity just like the draft does.

#22: BULLS***, have you listened to the in car radios during the race? And when was the last time the footy codes have had expletive loaded rants after a game?

#23: They're covered up with about 868 layers of clothing so it's not an issue. And what about the fans, who often cover themselves with Tatts? (And if you want to see idiots with ink all over them, just watch the NBA)

#24: Sure the manufactuers are the same, but every team has changed names just about every year thanks to money.

#25: It probably should change though if you listen to sections of the public

#26: They are an issue across the motorsport world though, and it's only a matter of time before it does become an issue in V8's.

#27: Ever had a look in cyberspace? Most drivers have either a facebook or twitter. And obviously you know jack about statistics and analysis that football and cricket use with this technology. Heck it's even banned in the dressing room in cricket. And this is a bad thing?

#28: Because the general population don't give a hoot about the V8 off-season (and most of the season itself to be truthful) and hardly anything ever happens apart from the odd driver and sponsor signing which is only worth 5 seconds mention at the end of the news.

#29: Your point? Irrelevant.

#30: T8/KRT Spygate anyone? Venues being dropped and added? Controversial new race formats? Get out of the glass bubble dumba**.

#31: Because no-one cares that they are in the country. And why would an AFL player want to go to Bahrain?

#32: Except when it badmouths the sport and puts it in a bad light.....

#33: DON'T GIVE HIM ANY IDEAS

#34: Instead teams abandon them to put in drivers with wads of cash or close the doors without blinking.

#35: And to have rich parents!

[STEALTHY]

Originally Posted by stmookeyj033

Time to counter the stupidity of the whole article. Someone has to do it, and there are just 800 Million reasons why the AFL is better than V8's.

Counter this \/

Originally Posted by STEALTHY

One reason why V8 Supercars are better than the NRL, AFL and cricket:


Motorsport is the only one that involves 2 balls

[Falcadore]

Originally Posted by D.R.T.

Buckshot, V8SA pay the Daily Telegraph big money in order for them to write stories about the series.

Even the AFL have to pay, allegedly, supposedly, to get coverage in Rugby League states in the respective papers. It's part of the cost of doing business.