Famous marshal phrases

[Mark Noble]

Ive had many a discussion with folks on the bank regarding phrases we use regularly on the bank...mostly humorous and often sarcastic. I've decided to be brave enough and start a thread, to see how many, or few, people contribute!

I will attempt to kick it off with:

"It's gone quiet...anyone got any pork pies left?"

Or

"Where's he going?"

[NotLordPercy]

Just the usual ones. " you can't park there", " I don't think you meant to do that", " that's not good" , "whoops". And our old favourite on our post......" Mustn't Grumble" !

And I forgot the Observer's cry........what exactly happened there lads!

[M Greenslade]

I have a stock phrase when writing out a Post Chiefs report after a multi-car incident where perhaps I didn't see everything, it goes like this, 'car 1 hit car 2, in the ensuing melee', I find the phrase 'in the ensuing melee' gets me out of most sticky situations, also if we are talking about religion and I haven't a clue what is going on, the retort I use is, 'that would be an ecumenical matter' again gets me out of most problems.....

Bladders......

[NotLordPercy]

Didn't help you trying for pope this time dd it!! Having your mitre on upside down didn't help ,mind you!

[M Greenslade]

Another couple of phrases regularly shouted to passing cars is simply 'Wrong' or 'Christ that was quick'......

Bladders

I didn't even get the Arch Bishop job despite having my own mitre (which was actually a turned inside out Sainsburys bag, but at least the colour was right) - humph...

[Shelagh]

I still like Bill's "Ah, he's on his breaking down lap" as someone goes past in obvious trouble!

[Greem]

Missed gear changes get "there's one in there somewhere".

I have to stop myself using Brundle's famous "ran out of talent" comment for the simple reason that although it's funny, I wouldn't get very far in a racing car. I know my place, and it's not in the driving seat!

[Nadine J Lewis]

I have a very long list which I won't reveal here - I'm thinking of publishing a book on it and presenting to new marshals :-)

[aland]

"no contact seen" despite bodywork hanging off
"small fire on board"
"why the feck did you park it there" to mini driver with car on top of tyres
"blooming typical" after a 3 car DD just before lunch
"didnae want a piece break anyway" ^^^^^^

[Teletubby]

A triumph of physics over ability!

[Apple]

Did you get the number of that car

[Andrew Palmer]

I like "Nothing happens here, but when it does it's always big!"

[Chigley]

Comforting words to drivers who have just demolished their pride and joy "It may polish out"

[nate93]

"Keep it on the black, not the green"

Any statement involving the word "quiet" tends to cause mayhem...but that may just be me!

[Joyce George]

Originally Posted by Teletubby

A triumph of physics over ability!

I thought it was the "Triumph of Optimism over Physics"

[Joyce George]

If it stays like this, we shall get a decent lunch break.

[BertMk2]

Originally Posted by Greem

Missed gear changes get "there's one in there somewhere".

Sadly that's not always the case - sometimes it's a box full of **** all

(or in our case it became a 1 speed gearbox - any gear you like as long as its 4th)

[White flag man]

"snatched defeat from the jaws of victory"
"they went thata way!"
"INCOMING!!"

[numbersix]

"Don't tell my marshals how to marshal and I won't tell you how to drive! - Although arguably someone should, otherwise you wouldn't be here!"

(Spoken during a certain BTCC event, circa 2008, when a certain driver started directing marshals. A wonderful moment.)

[Woolley]

Originally Posted by Joyce George

I thought it was the "Triumph of Optimism over Physics"

Marcus Pye, I think, describing Formula Fords.

My other favourites:
"He crossed the racing line several times"
"You see, you can have a single seater with a passenger"
"Straight to the scene of the accident"

[Slipstick]

Heard typically in pouring rain (or yesterday sleet and snow)..."So are we having fun yet ?"

To driver contemplating results of car attacking scenery..."That might need a bit more than T-cut".

Of oil deposited on my circuit...."That would have been better in than out".

And the all-purpose "Oops, that sounds expensive".

The Don Truman driver briefing I remember was something like "The black stuff is yours, the green bits are mine, stay off 'em. Oh and to the Formula Fords....DON'T".

Steve

[AMP Marshal]

- There's going to be some red mist from that.

- Please not here, not now.

- Ow that's going to hurt.

- The unusual one, during a Superbike race when the weather got rather dodgy, "corner two to control waved yellow, go ahead corner two, bike # 134 down in corner two, WITH LIGHTENING. Scared s******s.

[Teletubby]

Originally Posted by Woolley

Marcus Pye, I think, describing Formula Fords.

My other favourites:
"He crossed the racing line several times"
"You see, you can have a single seater with a passenger"
"Straight to the scene of the accident"

Ah but optimism over physics implies that the driver succeeded due to hope (and blind luck), whereas physics over ability describes the moment at which the laws of physics overcome whatever ability the driver may have and they spin or fall off.

[NotLordPercy]

Over brekka, I've had another thought! " it's just a passing shower". That was used a lot last year and was rarely true!
"everybody down" is useful sometimes. And also. " can I smell oil/petrol?"

Perhaps a marshals' thesaurus is called for..........

[MagnetON]

"failure of the right foot traction control"

and one that I can't claim credit for when a car is off in a "safe" position...

"ah, sure, you know yourself, it'll be grand unless something else hits it!"

"bomb-burst" <- First lap / corner of any Caterham race.

"meh!" <- Green flag lap of most Irish grids.

"I'm excited about this race, all my nipples are tingling, and I hear some people only have two!"

"Would you like a cookie?" <- Phoenix Park 2012 only.